Things aren’t always as they seem.

Hubba tent
Tank top then snow
My strength when indeed I am weak
Pipers devotion
Smile and move on but even after a year and a half my heart feels like it hurts more than ever since my Mom died

I hit the NM/CO border around 8:10pm May 29, solo.

One down

Strangely enough I slept in Colorado the night of May 29 but found myself at Cumbres Pass (in CO) trying to hitch back into New Mexico the next day- into Chama. It took me two hours!

I hiked solo this last section from Ghost Ranch to Chama (94 miles). It was beautiful!! There was a load of mud- slipping and sliding!! Snow- yep. Although, we are about to hit the serious stuff. We’ll see. I received trail magic in the form of grilled chicken at a campground. Thanks , Jim. There was a load of navigating and route decisions on this section for me. Talk about confidence booster as far as outdoor skills! Fun and frustrating! I made it though and enjoyed the adventure. I saw my first bear (on a wrong turn). That was a treat. Lots of elk and some antelope also were seen by these eyes. Very cool.

My last day in NM ended at 8:15pm. I was wet from rain and being hailed on twice that early evening. Slipping in mud and dodging snow/ice patches I was determined to make it to the border. So alone I hit my stride and found the border signs. Yay!!!! 660 miles done! And NM IS DONE! I desire(d) to reflect on what my last month on trail in NM was all about. It’s been a strangely different and intense journey thus far that involves more than just hiking and dealing with weather and eating a lot. I’m deeply being affected…I see evidence of it daily. I just cannot put my finger on it.

Spurgeon had an evening devotion on May 27th about not allowing our memories to drag us down but rather to be hopeful. I instantly thought about my Mom. I ought to reread that devotional again big I’d also encourage you to read it. Grateful for those little nuggets of spiritual food every day. I’m hungry for it.

I hope to write more later when I get to Pagosa Springs. It’s time to pack, eat breakfast, and hit the trail. Thought it fitting to touch base on this milestone of crossing the border. Much love from the trail.

Hike Strong and Have Fun!

Rest up, sweet daughter…

Jessica Hoover, a friend of mine who’s blog I most enjoy reading, recently (this morning) wrote on ‘rest’. It was timely for me to read and think on as I was severely debating whether I should hike out or not this morning. The dilemma was to hike on with Rattlebee or stay another day and hike on with other folks tomorrow. For some reason it was miles versus relationships in a complicated and mixed up reason in my mind and heart. To Rattlebee’s props, he was patient, caring, and kind as I debated on which way to choose this morning. Our solution was to choose to meet up in the next town and hike on from there. When this decision happened and he left to brush his teeth, I checked my email. There sat Jessica’s blog in my inbox, unread. Clicking on it and seeing the topic was rest, I got choked up. I believe whole-heartedly The Lord is aware of me. Quick confirmation to me. RB walked away and I headed to my tent. To my surprise and glee, Smiles was pitching her tent next to mine. Reunion with Smiles!!! Yay!!! I am on a wild ride of learning how to rest in The Lord and trust the process.

Here’s part of what Jessica wrote that struck me:

Rest isn’t only sleep. Sleep is a part but it is truly so much more. Rest is stillness. Rest is clearing our schedules of the should do’s and creating space to breathe full breaths that clear the mind and cleanse the soul.

Rest is intentional focusing our mind on quiet so that we can focus on what matters, hear Jesus speak to us without the whirring noise of our to-dos buzzing in our ear.

So today I am challenged to just be…to be still- mentally, emotionally, physically. I must confess I have been extremely busy and preoccupied mentally and emotionally on this trail from the start. I’ve been quite emotional this hike. This gal hears the good Lord saying, ‘Rest up, sweet daughter of Mine.’ I need to practice what Jessica mentioned above. Pray for me and with me in regards to this, please.

Quick update on the trail conditions. I walked in snow, rain, hail the other day. There is a video on my FB wall of some of the snow falling when we were on the Mesa, up over 10k’ in elevation. Check it out. The rain, which has been happening for four or five days since my last post, has made everything muddy. It made for interesting hiking as pounds of mud stuck to my shoes and trekking poles! RB and I were goofing off as we ‘skied’ in the mud at one point. Frustrating and entertaining moments wrapped up in one experience. PERSPECTIVE MATTERS! More mud awaits!!

Scenery changed quickly. Finally, hiking in some trees! The area has some beautiful rock faces that stand tall and proud… colorful and demanding of my attention. Colorado is 80ish miles away! I can taste it. Lots of snow talk. Oh, this Southern gal is about to have her fill of post holing and snow traversing. And probably a lot quicker than I ‘d like. 🙂 I’ll just see how it unfolds.

This trail has been more difficult mentally for me than I anticipated. I don’t understand why, but perhaps as I learn to rest my soul there will be a little more insight and/or relief. Clearly I am not immune to frailty. May this be a means in which I see my continued need for Jesus instead of trying to resort to my own ‘survival’ mode.

Month anniversary on trail just passed. WOOHOO!!!

I want to publicly thank Mrs. Calvert’s women’s bible study crew for my box of goodies and notes. Thanks to Buster for a stocked box of goodies! Thank you, Cynthia, for faithfully praying for and writing me!! Hopeful, love to you for writing, praying, supporting me with consistency. Diana, you’re a champ for working hard to get my mail drops situated and out to me. Mediocre, grateful for you!! Fisherkids, I received my new kicks! They feel great and I needed them desperately. I love you folks. Thanks for making my Ghost Ranch stop feel like a day of support, love, and encouragement in your different ways of contributing to my hike.

I am so thirsty….

….for water? Yes! For Dr. Pepper? Uh-huh! What about for righteousness? Hmmm… This has been on my mind for the past couple of days, especially as New Mexico’s temperatures were heating up and my water on trail situation continued to be iffy. The day before walking into Cuba I was sour and feeling hateful. I have been dehydrated for 3 weeks now. I don’t remember feeling this consistently thirsty on the PCT or at any other time in my life. I’ve been frustrated and desperate and grateful and amazed and prayerful and ill. And in the many different emotional stated I’ve found myself in as I have been LONGING for water to drink, The Lord has brought to mind the verse in Matthew 5:6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Hmmmm…. This has me thinking. I need to chew on it. It isn’t just about me realizing I’m thirsty and hopefully for righteousness because that’s the right Christian answer. Rather, being still enough to ask some real questions and seek out real answers. Like: what does this practically look like? How does this flesh itself out in my life? Why is this important; important enough for Jesus to teach it? What does it mean that I will be satisfied? John 7:37-38 reads, On the last day of the feast, the great day, Jesus stood up and cried out, “If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.'” Jesus as the Living Water…as verse 39 of that passage reads, it’s the Spirit of God in me. Walking through the desert needing water and having to walk miles upon miles to find it, I am being given a new perspective in which these words strike me in a more urgent, real way that they never have before. I’m simply processing ‘out loud’ here.

Funny enough- as I type this up in my motel room, it is raining! The Lord is replenishing the water sources. He is providing refreshment to the earth.

On that note and two blog updates in one town, I am off to bed. I have my bottle of tap water by my bedside tonight, the Spirit of God in me, and a heart that is continuing to be shaped uniquely through these specific experiences. Tonight I am going to bed with a grateful heart. Goodnight!

Shake off the dust….

Shake off the dust of your cares, and put on the beautiful garment of joy. Those words of Spurgeon from the May 20 evening devotional were perfect for me to ‘hear’ last night. Yesterday for about two hours while hiking I felt like I was in a low point mentally and emotionally that I just couldn’t shake! I have felt dehydrated for three weeks now. The terrain- although not as many road walks and becoming more scenic- busted my tail with the sandy ups and downs through the canyons as the sun was beating down on me. All I wanted was to get to water! Plus it was the hottest feeling day to date. Distances between unreliable water sources felt further and further away. And I questioned what I was voluntarily choosing to do!

At one point I felt so convicted about my poor emotional state of grumbling internally that I just stopped dead in my tracks… cried for a second…and decided to sincerely take it all in. The view on top of the Mesa was beautiful. For however long, I had hiked head down pushing through the miles as fast as possible with no regard for where I was- just what I was doing. But it dawned in me- I will likely never be at that location again (hiking NM again is not on my top 10 list). And I was simply reminded: I am alive! Not only just breathing but with an incredible opportunity to share trail life with these particular people for reasons far beyond my understanding; REJOICE!

After two days ago when I was revisiting the memory I have of November 9, 2012 (the day my Momma died) and the little petty stuff that detracted from my embracing of that morning with that OLD School crew before finding out my Mom was dying/dead, I realize more and more the desire I have to fight against wallowing in or honing in on the petty, negative aspects/moments/situations. I can’t just stop at, ‘I hate New Mexico!’ and be okay in my heart. No. The Lord has me here for a purpose. And why waste energy and emotion and time (along with dragging others down) when I know the reality- life on earth is short! Today has been given to me. Now shake off the dust of my cares and be joyful in The Lord! It was perfect!

It’s funny how I’ll walk and think of my next blog title. I don’t consider myself witty or terribly creative. I have enjoyed seeing what comes to mind and being able to tie it in with what The Lord is teaching me. There are a couple on the back burner. 🙂

Hiked past mile 500 today to reach Cuba, NM. Colorado is feeling like it’s truly within reach. I didn’t do a bog update when I hit Grants five days back. I slept on a wooden storage unit porch in town behind Taco Bell one night when I was in Grants. Climbing Mt Taylor was great. That mountain measures at 11,301′. I was at 6k in elevation when in Grants… So we did some climbing! Um… I ate some delicious food in town tonight. Splurged on buying a fancy meal for myself. Good decision! And now it’s 11:18pm and I need to get to bed. Zero tomorrow?!?! That’s the decision to be made…. Four days of possible lightning and rain storms. We’ll see. Much love from New Mexico. Please continue to pray for me.

Forget the brutality; embrace the day!

‘Embrace the brutality’ is the CDT motto. And for good reason. It is tough and I have been put through the grind already by day 16. But today as I was hiking I was struck with a personal reminder to embrace TODAY! I only have May 10, 2014 once… And as I have been longing to get to Pie Town and be done with this section of trail The Lord reminded me through conviction that TODAY matters. Embrace it. Get over this thought process of how tired my feet are from the crazy 2000′ descent from Manga Mountain (@9700′) but rather rejoice that I am able to walk and that I made it up the mountain and that I am here on the CDT for an eternal purpose. So I am choosing to embrace this day. Now, I did have to massage my feet and I do feel achy. But that cannot be my daily focus. It’ll wear me out even more!

One thing I have enjoyed doing is updating my journal little by little at night via the WordPress app. Takes pressure off of me when I am in a town stop. The town stops have been great. Small places… Lordsburg was friendly! Silver City was friendly and cute. Great stop. Doc’s was moreso about the cheap and great hot springs and camping for $5. Now Pie town. Hope to chomp down on some cherry pie!!! I should walk into town tomorrow; Mother’s Day! (Love your Momma well all year. You only get one.)

Want Some and I have been hiking this section together. After a small group of us went off trail to see the Cliff Dwellings national monument (pretty cool site) the hiking groups shifted. Rattlebee, Analog, and Banana Pants are a few miles ahead. Pounce and Helicopter had stuck together but go slower than Want Some and I typically hike. Smiles reunited with Mellow … Hoping she catches up and we hike out of Pie Town. I like our crew. I am interested to see what pans out.

Nonetheless, we have been dehydrated for the past three days. Scarce water; hiking past water sources unknowingly…. This morning I literally had one sip of water left and I could have consumed a gallon easily I was so thirsty. As I was walking I started to pray for water. We walked up on a muddy ‘tank’ which is a cow mud puddle. So, this gal gladly stuck my cup into the nasty brown water to start filtering at least a cup of water. I drank it … Clogged my Sawyer filter! We walked on hoping the well we were shooting for would be good. Ahhhh. Paradise is the form of a metal tank filled with green algae water, cows around it, and PVC pipe coming from the windmill powered well…. We were able to patiently collect clean water. We cameled up, ate some food, drank more water… Made my day!!!! Praise The Lord!

Middle Fork of the Gila River. Whew. Crossed the river 107 times in one day; fifty times in the first 7 miles! We were in the water for three days. BEAUTIFUL! Slot Canyon- incredible. Lots of sandy tread, rocky tread, wet tread! Wore us out. Made it out to Snow Lake. It got down to 19 * that night. Everything froze. I busted my finger hammering in a stake. Shivered all night. Not properly hydrated or fed. But I made it out alive! 🙂

Pie Town woot, woot. I spent yesterday (Mother’s Day) walking alone. It was a rich time of reflection as I road walked for 20 miles into town. Reunited with Rattlebee and Analog. Yay!! A huge crew of hikers were gathered at the hostel, Toaster House. We are taking a zero here today.

I’d say to anyone reading and interested, read Charles Spurgeon’s ‘Morning and Evening’ devotional. The last couple of devotions have been so incredibly rich in content. May 10- evening devotion… Wow! It is perfect for me as I journey forward with the hikers who do not believe as I believe. Spurgeon stated, ‘He is divine to me, if He be human to all the world beside. He has done that for me which none but a God could do. He has subdued my stubborn will, melted a heart of adamant, opened gates of brass, and snapped bars of iron.’ Praise The Lord!

I may update a little later today. This is all I can focus on for now. Need to digest this delicious New Mexico Apple Pie (pinion nuts, apples, green chiles)!!!

Keep praying.

This is a picture of the back of my knee from crossing the Gila hundreds of times and then them sun drying… Ouchy!!! And the other picture is the sunrise from my tent. Loving it.

All Buttered Up

I thought it’d be great to take these three small butter tubs from a restaurant for meals in the woods. You know, the ones they serve with biscuits? Well, last night ( I am typing this up on May 4th- Star Wars Day… May the fourth be with you! ) I was unpacking my pack and settling down for the night. The little dry sack I use to hold my phone and money is where I had thrown them while I was in town. I forgot they were there. The heat from the day plus added stuffing pressure caused them to break open. Needless to say, my phone and my money zippy were buttered up. Shortly I found myself covered in butter!! Baby wipes and hand sanitizer came to the rescue.

The Gila National Forest has a beauty to it that makes my heart smile. There are red rock formations, huge trees, and the Gila ( HEE-la ) River. We crossed the lower river at least twelve times today. Fun!! It was a welcomed relief to our hot feet. Want Some looked like he came out of a LL Bean catalog… And later made it to Mountain Hardware status when he willingly became Analog’s and my water depth tester. The three of us had a truly jolly time hiking this afternoon! Sweet memories.

The trees by the river had me thinking about the verse in Psalm 1, verse 3, about being a tree planted by the water. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. Last night I was talking with Analog about Jesus and how He is the Living Water. To be a tree rooted in a manner that it is continuously being nourished by a water source is the picture of me daily getting in the Word (the Bible) and praying from my heart, not my mind. Communion with The Lord Jesus Christ is my water source… I mustn’t forsake those times of ‘Be Still and know that I am God’, whether it’s as I bust tail across varied terrain or lay on my Tyvek ground cloth or wade a refreshing river or sweat bullets climbing mountains or am in a trail town getting cleaned up and catching up with folks from back home. Pray for me in this area, please.

I have discovered that hiking at 8000′ in elevation- or hiking straight up a mountain to that elevation with any amount of heat is exhausting!!!! Whew. This morning I literally climbed up a mountain. Grateful I didn’t have elevation profiles to fret the climb before I hit it. As I was moving along this morning a wave of gratitude and excitement came over me for my physical abilities to move. Early in the day I felt like I needed to hike strong and not complain about the day’s hike in honor of those people who would do anything to be out here but physically can’t move. I am living some people’s greatest desire… to walk in the wilderness in beautiful environments. Plus, Scripture teaches that I ought to do all things without grumbling.

Doc Campbell’s tomorrow. My ETAs are right on thus far! Bed time for now. It is 8:54pm!! The earliest I have gone to sleep thus far.

Mosquitos are buzzing around my head right now! Yay!!

May 5- Cinco de Mayo was celebrated with trail magic we found in the river. Thanks Rest Stop and Viper for the colds drinks!!!! Made it to Doc’s and also to the camping area that has hot springs. I had to decide to stay or hike 4 more miles. I’ll let you know that I chose to step out of my comfort zone to stay. Mile Nazi here is going to willingly check out some side trail stuff- The Cliff Dwellings! I said, ‘See ya later!’ to Rattlebee, Analog, and Banana Pants. Hopefully we will reunite in less than 6 days in Pie Town. Tonight as I was journaling I was reminded to ‘trust in The Lord with all of my heart and lean not in my own understanding’… Proverbs 3:5. Yep… I need reminding daily; momentarily!

The sun burnt the back of my legs today.Totally avoidable but I assumed I was immune to that type of sensitivity. Ha! Thankfully I bought some Neosporin and have it to rub onto my legs. Chafe; another joy… Ouchy! Ha. The typical break conversation revolves around sunburn, chafe, blisters, and food!! Strange combination; trail life! We also have some meaningful conversation but typically just one-on-one. Great crew. The Lord has gifted me with a group of hikers. Each straggler hiker we run into or runs into us has hiked most of their time solo. I have hiked with 4-9 other folks on a daily basis. Grateful.

My mind runs wild at times. My heart has felt deeply while walking. Different things strike me almost daily and I find myself at a loss- so I pray. My earnest desire is to learn how to pray from my heart- honest, raw, real; me sharing my heart with The Lord. I am looking forward to seeing what I learn about The Lord, myself in relationship with Him, and about others during this journey.

Pie Town you best prepare. These hikers are coming your way. But first it will be time to navigate the washed out Middle Fork of the Gila River. I just read we will cross the river 85 times in 21 miles. Mind you, we have already hiked a fair number of miles along the river and we’ve crossed it a fair number of times . Wet shoes all day, every day! Embrace the brutality!! Oh yeah.

Unexpected magic

Everyone is sleeping. I am the last one in our crew to fall asleep every night. Journaling, reading, staring up at the sky all typically occupy my focus before dozing off. Tonight I am laying in a bed in Silver City at Dean and Ginger Holloway’s house. Trail angels I didn’t knew who existed until 2pm this afternoon. Their generosity in opening their home, allowing us to drive their car around town, and their willingness to accommodate us has been a true blessing. Married 38 years! First year trail angels. They are naturals!! THANKS A TON!! Dean shared how a couple of months ago he was given a few months to live due to cancer. He had surgery and had parts of his internal organs removed, including a third of his pancreas. Recently he had a PET scan that came back negative for cancer. He feels blessed to be alive and to welcome people into his home just makes sense. Praise The Lord.

This morning we did a 4 mile dirt road walk and then a 13 mile asphalt road walk. Whew!!! The Tour Gila bike race is happening. We saw people on their timed trials today. Hiking with Analog for half of it talking about our Mommas was really rich for me. It is insane how much The Lord has used my Mom’s death to help me connect with people, for me to connect with myself, and for me to connect with The Lord.

Spurgeon’s morning and evening devotional a have been encouraging to read daily. Philippians keeps encouraging me as well- particularly focusing on chapter 4 for some reason.

Want Some did a magic trick with cards with Smiles and I. We were amazed! He then showed us how he did it. I am still amazed. Fun times!

We climbed up over 8000′ in elevation yesterday. Whew. It was kicking my tail. Apparently I seemed uncharacteristically grumpy at the top because Analog and Rattlebee kept saying, ‘Just smile, Stride.’ It took a lot out of me. Acclimation is happening but I do need to be mindful it maybe harder at first as I am settling in. My Achilles in my right ankle is tender and I have this weird sun rash on my chest; otherwise I am holding up well.

This morning it was anywhere between 25 and 32 degrees. CHILLY!! Saw a rainbow yesterday after a ten raindrop storm. Windy on and off. Overall pleasant temperatures during the day.

I drank my first batch of water from a cow tank. 8′ salamander creatures lived in the water. Ha.. Rattlebee was not drinking it. I used the Sawyer Filter mini I was gifted by a friend (who bought it at Mountain High Outfitters for my birthday) and everything tasted fine. Fun, unique experience!! What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!

Pounce and I had a wholesome conversation about my last blog while hiking. That was a blessing. Grateful to be sharing life with these particular folks on trail! Please keep praying for us.

Mile 145! Check! Silver City has a great welcome/visitor’s center and friendly folks live here. Great food! Happy the trail goes through here. We hit the Gila river here soon. Off to Doc’s Campbell next. The desert here reminds me if the PCT right now. Can’t believe we are cruising along. I am living many people’s dreams. What a privilege of mine to be out here.

Shout out to the Fisherkids Mission Club. Y’all are legit!!! Thanks for raising funds for my trip and for praying!

I thank each of you for praying and sending messages! What an incredible group of people The Lord has put in my life- y’all!! I sincerely thank Him. And I thank you for being a part of my life. Means a lot!

Bed time now. Much love. Hike Strong and Have Fun!
Taking It All In, Stride