There’s a season for everything…

Learn this lesson well, my friend. There’s a time to rejoice and lament. And every season will find an end. -Josh Garrels, Rejoice and Lament

Nodding in and out of ‘sleep’ on this Greyhound has come to an end for me. Instead I figure I’ll write this blog entry. Deep, rich colors are beginning to fill the horizon in the distance. The barely present crescent moon hanging halfway down over these colors is a perfect touch to this early morning sky welcoming me into Calgary, Alberta. More gifts given to me by my gracious God!

Summit day thoughts and happenings… Facts: I arrived at the Canadian border at 9:37 am on September 21st. I met RB, Myla and Jefe there. Shutter arrived a handful of minutes after me. We had about 7 miles to hike that morning to get there and then 4 miles more to get to Waterton Village. Grit (PCT ’12) met us there and drove us to Pincher Creek. This is where RB and I picked up the Greyhound bus (@3am) to now head into Calgary. After spending 3 days here I’ll fly home to the Southeast! I hope to utilize these next couple of days to quietly process what the last 5 months meant because it was not just a hike from Mexico to Canada:

It hasn’t even been 24 hours since I completed to trail as I’m typing this up. Right now it feels like another zero day and town stop. I’m in a little state of shock I believe. More of a thoughtful reflection on the trip will come a little later.

I just wanted to report that I made it- nothing short of by the Lord’s grace and strength. What a journey, to say the least. I am grateful for the continued support and encouragement many of you extended to me. It wasn’t in vain. The Lord used it to meet me where I was to show me how much I am loved. Thank you! And glory to God.

Now to find my hotel to nap and rest this weary body…. and to embrace my full heart.

Leading up to ‘Summit Day’

Daily thoughts for the last four nights/five days of this experience on the grand Continental Divide Trail! I’ll journal them at night before bed.

September 17; day 146! 10.5 miles; Two Medicine campground:
Earlier today RB asked me if I was ready for this; ‘this’ being the last portion…of leaving East Glacier and entering Glacier National Park. I told him I wasn’t sure. I’m ready in some ways; I’m not ready in others! I’ve grown weary of life out here at times but I also love it. You know, that love/hate thing. Sleeping on my NeoAir in my Hubba tent with my LaFuma down bag is so cozy! But it isn’t just about sleep. Or vistas/views. Or being able to eat whatever I’d choose with no qualms about nutrition. Or the many other perceived romantic aspects of my life out here. It’s about life lived with people with an eternal perspective and a present urgency. I know more and more that life shared with people is a gift! I am ready to be back in my community in NC.

I also want to celebrate completion of the CDT in and of itself- not in the limelight of celebrating my Triple Crown. Two separate, meaningful (to me) accomplishments that I desire to reflect upon. I’ll see how that pans out.

Glacier is already beautiful. I am so excited about what is coming up.

An owl is hooting in the distance. It’s WILD out here.

September 18; day 147; 28 miles and camped at Red Eagle Lake Foot:
Wildfire smoke from Oregon/Washington filled the skies most of today which dulled the scenery. The wind has been crazy today- even now as I am laying in tent. My body and mind felt terribly weary today but I had to push it over two significant passes anyway! Laying horizontal right now feels like a gift. I’d also like to say that it’s a gift I could make it up and over those mountains today- even in a weary state!

I read Matthew 5-6 tonight before journaling. There’s quite a bit in those two chapters to chew on as far a living a life in a manner worthy of the calling. And the end of chapter 6 says it… Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness!

Tonight is the third to last day out here. Only two more full days of hiking. Doesn’t seem real. People often romanticize woods life, at least those folks who’d do anything to be out here but instead feel stuck in their suburban lifestyles. It’s not romantic. Well, maybe it does feel like it occasionally. It’s tough. It’s dirty. It’s challenging on a daily basis. It’s a wonderful platform to have layers stripped off and a new perspective given. That’s often painful in the moment.

September 19; day 148; 29.6 miles; Many Glacier campground:
Waking up several times last night to intense wind gusts and rain hitting my tent wasn’t actually conducive to feeling rested this morning. Still stormy and unpredictable, RB and I packed up and immediately started hiking and had breakfast down trail when the weather cleared. The day did not start off well. Rain, wind, no breakfast, an argument (that thankfully was ironed out as RB and I walked and as the Spirit of God brought awareness and conviction to me)… But I will vouch for how the beauty of the day did unfold. I’m spent physically as I lay in this tent. We climbed up and over Pigean Pass- a 3,000′ ascent and then basically the same elevation loss. Talk about breath-takingly beautiful!! It was worth every step I took and every ‘HEY, BEAR!!’ I had to yell today. What a place to near the end of my hike.

Only 35 measly miles left! Taking a break today I began to be sentimental with RB and Shutterbug about how I’ll miss breaking with them after tough miles… Me licking my dirty Cheeto-fingers ‘clean’ and them giving each other hard times about being old… I’ll be separated from the opportunity to guiltlessly eat a bag of Cheetos, but more importantly I’ll be separated from these people I’ve grown to love and who I share about every single hour of the day with… I’ve met some special folks! I’ve shared some incredible moments with these people. There’s a place in my heart and in my life for these particular people- the hiker trash!

I took a sleep aid since it’s super windy again, I’m at a busy campground, and I must sleep tonight. I think it’s kicking in!!

September 20; Day 149; 28 miles and cowboy camping at Koontenai Lake:
This was the last full day of hiking and is the last night of camping on the CDT. We are cowboy camping! This means the weather is perfect. A million stars are shining brightly above me now. It’s beautiful.

We reunited with a bunch of hikers at the campsite tonight. It was strange knowing how to take it all in- to be transparent with you. Each of us hikers have had our own variations on this trail. Some are adamant about continuous steps; some skip around and are open about it; some skip around and are tight-lipped. We all have opinions about these different ‘styles’ but like to maintain political correctness by stating, ‘HYOH (hike your own hike)’. But at the end of this trail I find myself at a loss of how to genuinely respond to folks who have hiking styles that resulted in gaps of missed trail, yet refer to themselves as thru hikers. At the end of the day, though…And in all of eternity, this little label matters not. So then why do I struggle with this? More areas of needed growth being made obvious to me.

Today’s hike was by far one of the most beautiful days on trail. Stellar views, perfect weather, and smooth tread allowed for space to reflect some and to ‘mindlessly’ hike, as well. This is a gift because many of our days on trail required mental engagement so we wouldn’t twist an ankle walking over rocks or through the mud or walk off a steep slope or get whacked in the head by a fallen tree that’s just low enough to catch the top of your head or get lost down a random road or walk circles in a bog. Therefore, having time to walk and not be fully engaged in those basic functions while hiking opened up time to ‘just be’. Truly a gift.

Tomorrow I hit the border with RB and Shutterbug. I’m proud to do so. Now to gaze up at the stars one last night on this trail.

The Last Leg

Departing from East Glacier for the Canadian border in T-minus 3 hours seems almost unbelievable! RB and I just completed an 180 mile stretch from Roger’s Pass to this sweet little town (on the tail end of the tourist season, thankfully) that proved to keep us sliding on our toes! Literally! Snow, ice, mud, water galore caused for exhausting miles as we trekked through some beautiful countryside/wilderness. The Scapegoat and The Bob Marshall Wildernesses were rugged and stunning. After snowing 8″ on us in the first leg of one of our longest stretches for the whole trail, RB and I continually kept each other encouraged and worked well as a team. In addition, it was a tough section for me as my food rations were too low for what we had to endure. I made it but not without an emotional and physical burnout at The Chinese Wall on day 3 or 4. Memories I’ll have for the rest of my life.

I’m grateful RB knows me well enough to know how to encourage me in practical ways as the going gets tough. For example: One afternoon as we stood on top of a mountain in the deep snow with our sopping wet shoes from fording ice cold rivers galore, I simply felt like I was being bullied by the trail- which showed all over my face and in my hiking pace (maybe a tinge of rage hiking, although ‘rage’ is a little intense of a word). RB stopped me and a genuine pep talk was delivered. I needed to have my perspective and focus reset in that moment. It was a turning point. The snow would fluctuate in depths from there on out; the mud puddles and mud tread would come out in full force for MILES and MILES (thanks, horses!!); the days were warming up and the nights were freezing! But with all of that, I was daily reminded of the gifts present in those days. It was the small things that began the shine light on those difficult moments. It was the reminder from Scripture to not be anxious- read Matthew 6- that was absolutely timely for me. It was a recollection of the many miles and many heartaches and many trials and many victories and many lessons learned and many tears shed and many giggles that filled my thought- time out there this past section. I am cared for by a living and loving God! I am blessed beyond expression. Grace has been lavished on me. And in the midst of those truths, I am constantly being reminded that doesn’t mean I will be unaffected by tough times. I’ve encountered them this whole trip. I’ve also encountered the Maker of my being in some beautiful ways. Hope in Jesus. And those actualizations keep hitting me like waves.

So- as I near the physical end of this journey on the CDT, I am asking for your prayers. With only 98 miles left to go, I find myself in the midst of a mixed bag of emotions and thoughts. Grief- of my Mom’s absence, and separation from this trail and these people I care for out here- is something I don’t want to fear. Relief and excitement and pride and transition and identity stuff and anxiety about the next deal and who knows what else may be things I contend with and think on this last leg. But in the midst of whatever has, is, and will hit me, I will be rereading Matthew 6 this week. Pray I’ll feast on those truths and that the Spirit will continue to lead me.

My next post will be from Canada. At least that is the plan. I could write for days but I must pack up. Grateful you’ve joined in on this journey with me. Now to dig deep and finish strong! 🙂

While in the Bob Marshall Wilderness

Teach me the happy art of attending to things temporal with a mind intent on things eternal. -Valley of Vision, Christlikeness

It’s late. My headlamp has been burning battery tonight for almost an hour and a half as I’ve settled in for the night by doing various chores in the night hours. I’ve been carrying print-offs of various VOV prayers this whole trail. To be honest, too often I neglect slowing down and setting aside time to chew on the truths in those prayers. Tonight, though, I read the above quote from one of those rich Puritan prayers and wanted to share.

I need the above reminder because I find myself in the silliest tizzies over temporal things. ETERNITY matters. The temporal matter as long as they build up and point toward the eternal. But the temporal independent of such purpose is futile. Well, I get wrapped up in the latter more than I’d like to.

Tonight I was sensitive and irritable when it came to RB and I interacting, especially in picking out tenting sites. Petty. Felt like an enormous issue, though. And then as I thought on truths and responded to the Spirit’s conviction, I realized it wasn’t the most important or urgent issue that needed my emotional investment. Where in the world was my hope? My foundation? My eternal perspective?

Ramblin’ on

Some quick thoughts before I lay my head down on the PILLOW tonight.

Hospitality shown by strangers continues to amaze and challenge me. It (the point of hospitality) isn’t about entertaining folks you love, know well, and enjoy. I am learning that it is about making yourself and your space and your resources available to people- whether you know them or not. Thank you, Ezra and Nancy, for opening your home to me here in Lincoln, MT. I will never be able to articulate how much I appreciate the ways I have been warmly welcomed into people’s homes throughout my whole life. It is a testimony to me. I am a recipient but also a student. I am learning through others’ lives how important it is for me to share myself, my space, my resources…It’s been a beautiful expression of love for me.

Cowboy camping with a full moon overhead, 50 degree air temperature, bright shining stars… with a friend laying not too far… in Montana= fun memories! The past couple of days have been pleasant. I walked and was wrought with emotion during the dusk hour. I kept saying, “Lord, this is just perfect.” The moment was sweet for me- taking it all in.

Speaking of taking it all in, I am a matter of days and not many miles away from the end of this particular journey. Mileage I find myself with a mere 267.5 miles left to hike; days-wise there are only 10 more nights in the woods and in 12 days I anticipate I will be standing at the monument as a CDT thru-hiker and a bonafide Triple Crowner. The snow and cold air sweeping in tomorrow will keep things in perspective as there will be a shift of survival instead of daydreaming. 🙂 I will say that after my flight was booked this morning and I had to go to my last long resupply, none of my food was appetizing. It is the first time I resupplied and NONE of my food appealed to me. I think it’s because I know that flight home is booked… I am ready for the change in diet coming soon.

I have only lost 8 pounds. I lost 13 at one point but I guess I am putting it back on with muscle. Go figure.

Lastly- don’t forget to go with the flow and to receive the gift. That goes for you and I am being reminded myself. That is all for me.

It’s Getting Cold!

Sitting in a coffee shop swatting away flies and enjoying the cool air hitting me each time someone enters or exits is just like my daily routine while on the actual CDT. Haha. Right. This change of pace is nice but also kind of tiring if I allow myself to waste the ‘free’ time. Sitting still isn’t as easy as it sounds like it would be after hiking a marathon on a daily basis for months. The stillness is needed for physical and spiritual recovery. But strangely this doesn’t happen without an internal fight.

Stillness.
Rest.

As Jessica Hoover mentioned in one of her blogs months ago, these two things are connected but doesnt automatically happen.There is an intentionality that must be present. I’m in a present learning curve of this.

Since my last blog I have laid eyes on and slept in the towns of Anaconda, MT and Helena, MT. After three- ish months and 1,500 miles apart, Rattlebee made it into Anaconda after pushing through tough terrain with an illness. At one point we were only 90 minutes apart on trail, but didn’t know it until later. Cianne and Jake came over from Bozeman to ‘magic’ me with a meal, trekking pole tips, and candy while I was in Anaconda. The sweetest part of their visit was the opportunity to spend time with fellow Christians. It’s just sweet to my heart.

Great stop in Helena. I drank about a gallon of organic, locally roasted decaf coffee! And funny enough, I found myself sitting at a table with three strangers as though I had known them for ages talking about life… Comfortable to do so just because one of those folks is a former PCT thru-hiker- and not even in the year I hiked. Familiar family feeling even if you never hiked together. Bizarre and fascinating to me.

The weather continues to taunt us with winter-like reminders. Snow and low temperatures were a part of this past two day section. One day the watch hanging from RB’s pack read 43* as the high and dipped down to 30* while we were awake. That’s the day is also snowed. Burrrr. And just now RB showed me how there will be a 40* drop in the Waterton forecast between Monday and Tuesday. Haha. I hope it’s short-lived because I’m wearing shorts!

Just the other day I celebrated my two-year anniversary of completing the PCT. I have also hiked well over 2200 miles now. It’s been 132 days that I’ve been out here. This hiking thing is a wild animal. On that note…

Goodnight.

Wet Pottery

There have been a few ah-ha moments for me today. It’s clear The Lord is using strenuous situations out here (namely weather stuff) and the preaching/teaching of His Word to take lessons full circle… to show me His active work in me (my sanctification). It’s rugged, messy, dirty. It’s beautiful, purposeful, awesome.

Don’t presume on the Lord’s kindness
confess
repent

My weaknesses are coming to the surface out here. My temper has been sensitive and easily frustrated when hail breaks loose… when cold rain drenches me… when another mountain climb taunts my weary legs and weary mind. I’ve shared some ugly thoughts and emotions out loud with the Lord. The grace and compassion He has shown me during these grinding growing moments has caused me to stop on several occasions. It’s challenged me! I pray it’s not simply a memory I am #grateful for in a trendy manner but rather a deep change in me to make me more like Jesus.

As I listened to Brody Holloway preach on Exodus 24 via podcast, the Lord was speaking to me. I mustn’t presume on God’s kindness by praying, ‘Lord, strengthen me so I don’t lose my temper over things I cannot control (like weather).’ which I have prayed a few times out here Rather, confess my sin to the Lord, repent, and continue to be made aware of my need for the Lord’s blood to cleanse me from my unrighteousness. He made a covenant that lasts for all of eternity with His blood. His blood has opened up the opportunity for me to have relationship with my Creator… The One who controls this weather that has easily disturbed me. That kindness is what leads me to repentance. It isn’t about me simply showing restraint from complaining. It’s about God being shown and understood as strong when my weaknesses are screaming out loud, literally and figuratively.

So as I walk these last miles and pray, I desire to confess, repent, and be led by the Spirit. I’m tired of blessing and cursing The Lord with my mouth- which is really an overflow of my heart. His blood cleanses me. His Spirit softens my heart. His kindness continues to lead me to repentance. And may He be praised from me, an earthen vessel… who sometimes gets wet, cold, and hailed on!